Red Sox Beards and Baldies


Baldies and beards, oh my!

The bald and bearded look is the new hotness for the Red Sox.  You’re not cool unless your head is shining and your beard needs a daily groom.  Oh you have hair on your head and not your face? I’m sorry little boy, this team is not for you.  Much like the crazy coifs of the 2004 idiots, these 2013 grinders have created a look their very own.

Why shave your face when you can shave your head? Right? I guess? Well, who cares. These Red Sox are bald and beautiful. Do not judge me.  Instead follow me as I shamelessly analyze four grown men’s hair styling.

Johnny Gomes (pictured above) is not a natural baldie, but the close buzz shows he’s trying.  The facial hair hits you before you know what’s up.

“Who is this bearded nobody–” BOOM. Walk off homer in your face!

victorino beard

Shane Victorino was rocking the mohawk for a while, but has recently chosen the shaven path.  For the patchiness, all I can say is at least he’s trying.  That’s all you can ask for in the beard game.



pedroia BeardDustin Pedroia: The leader of the beard crusade ditched the hair long ago.  His manly mane is about as big as his game and hair as nonexistent as his errors.



napoli beard

Napoli: KABLOW! Explosive. That’s the only word for Naps extendo-beard.  It just keeps going and going, much like his home runs.

No one knew what kind of team the 2013 squad would be.  Well here they are in all their bald/bearded glory.  The Sox have an identity after everyone questioned them.  They grind to the very end, game after game.  They shave their heads, game after game, and leave their beards be.


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